I admit. I’ve been a bad blogger. I fell off the face of the earth.
Well, not really.
But I fell into a bit of a black hole. To call it “depression” sounds a little to dramatic for my taste, but in reality, that has something to do with it.
Just plain bummed out about career stuff, money stuff, my weight… just gross feelings.
So, no blogsies. I suppose blogging through that might have been cathartic, therapeutic, or what have you; but frankly the thought of pouring out my sensitive ouchy feelings grosses me out even more, so… 6 weeks off.
What happened during that time?
I did a lot of work promoting a certain coffee machine in-stores and brought home some fiduciary bacon (and a LOT of left over coffee, sadly in brands and flavours which I do not enjoy. Soon to be donated.)
I struggled to continue my half marathon training – I missed a few runs, and as a result I am a bit behind, but am relying on my half marathon in November, and my 8 mile long run this month to get me through (I had a 5 mile taper run this past weekend that went alright).
I began physiotherapy again to tend to my achilles tendinitis – just some tune-ups and some pain relief.
I got new shoes. I’d been having pain in the ball of my foot and eventually it occurred to me to turn over my shoe and have a look at the sole. Right at the ball of my foot? Worn right down.
Now, my Nike Structure 15s are discontinued and pretty hard to get ahold of. The Nike Store in Toronto did an amazing job by locating a pair for me, and also suggesting I try the new 16s. I was hesitant to try a brand new shoe that might not work, and they went above and beyond by agreeing to let me take the newer (lighter) Structure 16s out for a training run (outside, on my own) so I wouldn’t get stuck with shoes that were wrong for me right before the half marathon. I really like the new Nike Structure 16s! I put them on side by side in the store, and I could definitely feel the difference in the weight of the shoe.
I got such personal, careful service from the Nike Store, I’ll be going directly there in future.
I tried something fun – I love me some zombies, so I’ve been giving the Zombies, Run! a try.
I don’t use it every time I run – I generally run with my sister, so I don’t listen to anything since we’re usually talking and listening for our Garmins to beep our intervals. But when I do use it, I really enjoy it. It seems pricey at first glance, but it’s a well produced bit of radio drama, with some very cool technology included. I enjoy the story (you listen to it as episodes of either half an hour or an hour), I enjoy the interactivity of it, and I enjoy the chill I get on the back of my neck when I hear the zombies close in.
I recommend it – it’s especially creepy when running at night, but my creepiest run to date was my solo run through the deserted grounds of the Canadian National Exhibition during daylight. Nothing like chains on doors and closed fences to add a bit of reality to your theatre-run.
And finally, and I struggled with mentioning this because I tend to deal with my weight in the shadows, but I finally (after a month of ‘intending to’) made my way to a Weight Watchers meeting. Before I started working on ships, I was very successful with their program and got to my goal weight.
But then the ships… oh, the ships.
When you start the job, you kind of forget that you’re not on vacation. Don’t get me wrong, there’s work to be done, but you’re constantly surrounded by people having their week of fun, and it’s hard not to get caught up in that spirit.
Cut to: 30lbs later.
So, I’m working on it. And now I’m admitting that I’m working on it. It’s been an issue for me, but it’s especially hard on me when we come home because I always think people are looking at me thinking to themselves “oh, look how big she got”. I know my friends aren’t judging me, but it’s an icky thing that always goes through my head and it gets compounded by the fact that when I come home, none of my clothes that I left behind seem to fit me anymore. I literally skipped a party this holiday season because I was ashamed. That’s how I knew it was time to get this thing sorted out.
Voila! Warts! Tears of a clown! This blog has it all!
I feel better now that I’ve taken action. I really do. Sometimes all you need is to take the first step. It can give you hope that you have what it takes to take the next one. And the next one.
Running taught me that.
I’ll do my best to keep this up. The Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend is right around the corner, and so is my first half marathon of 2013. We’re not looking to run for time, just for fun!
But I was delighted that my Toronto Women’s 10K time was sufficient to get me placed in Corral C for the race! I’ll be hopping back a couple of corrals to start with my sister, but it feels good to know I earned that spot.
My plan for 2013 is to keep running. I want to focus on shorter distances this year (unless we find a way to manage doing another Coast to Coast to take part in Disneyland’s new Dumbo Double Dare). I want to improve my speed. I mean, I’ve got these long legs… they’ve got to be good for something!
So there’s my unfocussed, start of the year, all out, first post of the year.